“Oh! You two look so good together. You should never break up.”
A common reiterated comment on couples’ posts.
“If you don’t get married, I’ll never believe in Love.”
With the use of social media becoming more entrenched in our daily lives, many more people are showcasing parts of their lives that were once exclusive. Concerning romantic relationships, it’s common for individuals to share posts of/ with their “significant other” — as a declaration of their association’s status.
In the last few years, there’s been an increasing trend of serving the audience #RelationshipGoals: with couples in a race to capture and post their lovey-dovey moments. And if you don’t have a partner, you could invent one.
On the opposite side of the spectrum is the rise of an audience, which fully immerses itself in others’ online lives, with some demanding an authoritative seat at the decision-making table. This behavior is a reflection of what transpires among friends, family, and sometimes acquaintances. Those around people who may have some connection or hope for one.
Each with an opinion on whatever is or isn’t going on between the individuals; could or couldn’t happen, and if it is or isn’t meant to be. Most of these views—if they aren’t wise counsel and often unsolicited— are putting pressure on the individuals to be or do something.
Detrimental Behaviors encouraged by this Trend
- Playing pretend in public
There are many people in broken relationships serving us #CoupleGoals. Whatever they have going on is so toxic that within a few minutes of interacting with them —away from the glam of social media—you would require cleansing.
The exposure to their real selves blurs the line between healthy and unhealthy. Where values seem worthless, and what any self-respecting individual would find despicable becomes something to condone.
Forgetting that, an outward smile means nothing when you are hurting deep down.
Little girl, just turned eight years old, she already knows how to play this game. Around new people, she puts on a mask of a chatty person she’s not. Maybe they will find her pleasant, or better if they think she’s cool.
She relishes the attention, but what she has to give to earn it drains her. All she’s left is to admit to herself finally —she doesn’t mind being her quiet self, with or without people around.
- Forcing things to work against better judgment
Lily and Justin, a young married couple (like the trend nowadays), built a significant following, documenting their journey—from dating to married life. They won in the department of looks and had many gobbling up the moments they shared with their online family.
A few YouTube years later, things did not work out; divorce was the only way for peaceful co-existence between them: mostly for their children’s sake.
As the two try to build their identities away from each other, almost every post is flooded with comments like,
“I pray every day that you two get back together.”
“I was following your relationship since you started, please, get back together.”
As if to exacerbate their situation, a few months after announcing their separation, a new post pops up on—“The Best Couples on YouTube.” Lily and Justin being among the featured couples.
Don’t we have even a little sense of decency to respect their decision?
We do not know what went on behind the loving and glamorous family life that the two shared with the public. It could have been an abusive and draining relationship—mentally, emotionally, and God-forbid, physically.
How would anyone want to go back to that, or encourage such? All we seem to hunger for is illusion after illusion; that being real, now, isn’t good enough.
- Assuming a Title not yet attained
A few weeks into getting to know each other, Charlie’s friends already referred to Maggie as his “madam/bibi”; he considered himself her main man. Yet, both had never agreed to exclusivity.
Maggie knew she was a free agent; she regarded Charlie as a good friend and actively continued to get to know other people. She finally settled with the one who matched best with her— and he wasn’t Charlie.
No one can convince Charlie that it wasn’t a relationship until both had agreed on it. In his mind, it was forever and always. That as if by magic, Maggie should have known that.
It’s no wonder we now have a generation that doesn’t know how to deal with rejection. For one, some people “start relationships” with others without the consent of the person they believe to be involved with.
On the other hand, those in courtship assume that the relationship is a closed deal, without taking steps to get there.
Why are We hung up on other People’s Lives?
Whether a relationship works out or not is not for the public or self-imposed judges to decide: or steer it. It takes two to tango: well, if you believe in a monogamous relationship.
Comments of, “Oh! He’s such a good guy, or she’s such a good girl …” one has to ask themself, — as an individual — “But is the promise of a future together, good enough?”
Some people budge to this kind of pressure to maintain the image they have created: even if it’s to their detriment.
However, in the grand scheme of things, working on the actual connection is worth more than striving for the #CoupleGoals or #CuteCouple tags.